I have had a lot of complications, so to speak, in the reproductive department. It started when I was in so much abdominal pain at work that I actually passed out. Not one to go to the doctor unless I’m dying, my job told me I wasn’t allowed to come back until I had written documentation that I was okay to work. And so, I saw six different doctors, most of whom told me that there was absolutely nothing wrong with me and acted like I was just another overly dramatic, whiny woman. Until I finally found the doctor who didn’t think I was crazy and actually listened. And diagnosed me with endometriosis. Since then, I have had two laparoscopic surgeries because of such. A few years later, after going for a routine pap smear, my doctor discovered some abnormal cells. I underwent five cervical cancer related surgeries. In the first week of May, 2012, I went for my annual check up and the results came back as “high risk”. Meaning? Those abnormal cells were back, all up on my cervix, rearing their ugly heads. But they weren’t yet enough of a threat that they needed to be acted on and may clear up on their own. So, I was “high risk”, but remaining in one piece. For now.
And so, when I christened the Stick of Fate with my urine just several weeks later and it came back positive, I was petrified. And that’s putting it lightly. How weakened was my cervix from all of these surgeries? I just had a high risk cancer screening, how would this affect my pregnancy? Shaking, I called the doctor and begged and pleaded for an appointment. After all, I was going on vacation in two days. I needed to be seen and NOW! The next day, CC and I walked into the doctor’s office for our appointment like we were walking the plank. There were no words, no exchanged glances. Just quiet fear. The doctor told us there was nothing to worry about. But, being only about four or five weeks (the ultrasound tech’s estimate) it was too soon to see anything but the sac on the ultrasound. So how could I be certain that everything was okay? I didn’t feel any more comforted than I did before.
Four weeks later, we returned for our second appointment. And we got baby’s first photo. Like a little peanut, there it was. Our baby. This teeny tiny little bundle of cells, that was creating a human life right before our very eyes. And we did this. It was absolutely awe-inspiring. The ultrasound tech added some humor to the incredibly emotional moment when she announced, “You’ve got a big baby in there!” Just like that, B.B. had a nickname. And there it is: B.B. stands for Big Baby. And it certainly is. I’m now 16 weeks and, my little star on the weight gain chart is, well, above the graph. When strangers in the supermarket ask how far along I am, they always respond shocked at my response. What can I say? CC and I were both big babies ourselves! So, B.B., CC and K. Lee make three. (Plus the cat, Audrey, and dog, Haylee, who are still learning how to coexist. It’s as if we have two children already!) We’re going to be a busy little family with this Big Baby and I can hardly wait. Although I am trying to rest as much as possible now while I still can 🙂
My Journey Through Mommyville 