The Stick of Fate: And So it Begins

The date was June 27th, 2012.  I was seeing GBD (Gay Baby Daddy…for more on GBD, click here) in Pennsylvania in two days to be his wedding date and I could hardly stand the wait.  Anticipating a weekend full of getting-our-drink-on, I decided it couldn’t hurt to take a home pregnancy test just as insurance.  I wasn’t really late, a few days or so, especially since my cycle tends to have a mind of its own.  But C.C. and I had been careless and I had the tests already so there was really no harm.

I had a pregnancy “scare” a few months earlier and, never one to pass up a bargain, had indulged in the two-pack of First Response that came with a third test for free.  After all, if it turned out I was pregnant, being thrifty would be on my side!  Previously satisfied after one negative result (especially since my “visitor” came about thirty seconds later) there were two unused tests left in my bathroom vanity.  And so, to ease my mind for a weekend full of guilt-free partying with GBD, I set down to urinate on the Stick of Fate.  It was going to come back negative, I was positive.

Surprise!!! Two pink lines, one slightly fainter than the other, crept their way across the tiny little window.  I rubbed my eyes, expecting it to clear up.  There was just no way.  Faster than I knew was possible, I chugged a bottle of water, unwrapped the second Stick of Fate, and released.  There was no mistaking it, I was going to be a mommy!  Holy S-H-I— whoops, not around the baby!  So much for getting my drink on.  I would officially be the most boring wedding date ever.

Telling C.C. was one of the most terrifying moments of my life.  We had talked about kids before but as something we both wanted in the future.  A baby?  We just weren’t ready for this.  But, then again, no one ever really is I suppose.  And so, I packed up Stick of Fate 1 and Stick of Fate 2 in a Ziploc baggy  and took the drive to C.C.’s house, mostly on auto-pilot.  I had no idea how to approach this.  I was in shock myself and going back and forth between elation and terror.  The terror was mostly surrounding the uncertainty of how C.C. would react.  I had wondered if I could ring-and-run when I got there, leaving the Sticks of Fate at the door.  He was a smart guy, he would get the point.

The funny thing is, it was easier than I had ever imagined.  One look at me and C.C. knew exactly what I had to tell him.  And, while I cried, he held me and told me how much he loved me.  He came with me to our first doctor’s appointment, where our pregnancy was confirmed.  And then I had to leave for three days to Pennsylvania to be another man’s date to a wedding.  A gay man, but still.  Yup, that’s how we do things here, complicated.

GBD was beyond understanding and may have been more excited than I was about me becoming a mommy.  And, of course, I assured him that he would still be my GBD.  While he would not be the child’s biological daddy, every baby needs a gay!  I assured GBD that he could help the baby pick out clothes, choose the best self-tanner and learn how to not dance like a white guy (or girl).  Before you go attacking me for stereo-typing, rest assured that GBD is exactly that fabulous!  No other man could make a woman feel as gorgeous in her wedding outfit, despite the fact that the skirt would no longer zip all the way up!  And when the obnoxious wedding guest seated next to me at dinner inquired as to how my “husband” felt about me being at a wedding with another guy after I just found out we were pregnant?  I simply informed him that I had actually had an orgy with six guys and I wasn’t sure yet which one was the father.  End of questions right there and I was free to enjoy my meal.  Score!

Now, two months has gone by and every day has been an adventure.  Despite the hormones, nausea, back pain, insomnia, headaches, constant urination and over-heating, the adventure has been beautiful.  I am so incredibly excited to be a mother and to share the life lessons I have learned along the way with someone who I’m certain will teach me more than I could ever imagine; about life, patience, understanding, stopping to smell the roses and delight in the little things.  And the kind of unconditional love that enables one to wipe someone else’s poop…often from unexpected places.  True to form, C.C. wants a boy and I want a girl.  Although if she is anything like me when it comes to dating and the college years, I may have to lock her in her room until she’s thirty 😉

• Keep checking back for more on our journey, including baby’s first sonogram, where the nickname B.B. came from, registering and food, food and more food!
• For more on the journey from Single and 30 to My Journey to Mommyville, click here!