Adults Work

When my daughter was born, I was fortunate enough to stay home with her for ten months. I had considered staying home with her permanently. And someone said to me “adults work.” I was told that raising my child wasn’t work, it was “playing with your kid all day.”

Let me be clear; I adore my daughter. She is my everything and I treasure every moment I have with her. But raising another human being is work. I’m now back at work full time due to circumstances and I can honestly say that raising my kid is harder. Because, if you’re doing it right, there is so much more to parenting besides “playing” with your kid.

Play is an essential part of childhood. It should be an essential part of adulthood, too but responsibilities often get in our way. That being said, yes, I play with my kid a lot. But that play serves a purpose greater than just seeing that infectious smile or hearing her laugh. It’s teaching her. It’s teaching her fine motor skills, walking, talking, what the proper words are for objects. It’s teaching her how to make things work, how to read a book. It’s teaching her wrong from right. Trust, love, respect. It is the most important job in the world. It’s Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes. It’s where is your belly button? Point to mommy’s nose!

It’s reacting appropriately to negative behavior and raising a child you’ll be proud to send out into the world one day. It’s getting them to eat a balanced diet and take a bath. It’s knowing that sometimes you can’t be fun. Sometimes you have to say no and get a cup thrown at your head. And then address the issue of the cup being thrown at your head. Sometimes you’re the bad cop. And that’s certainly not fun.

It’s trying to get clothes on a person while they’re running away from you. It’s teaching another person where their toes are. And how to use the potty. And yes, watching your child learn and grow is rewarding and wonderful. But it’s still work. We don’t tell professional athletes that they don’t have a real job because what they do for a living is fun. And they get paid a ton of money for doing it! Being a parent is a full time job without a paycheck, without a lunch break and without a vacation plan.

I talk to other women I work with whose children are now all grown up. And they all say the same thing “I was lucky enough to stay home when my kids were little.” Times have changed and more often than not now, both parents need to work to make ends meet. But if it’s doable? I don’t see the downside to having a stay-at-home parent. In my opinion, it’s giving your child a major benefit. And it doesn’t make anyone less adult. Any parent who thinks a stay-at-home parent doesn’t work isn’t doing it right.